What a Transfer Student Actually Learned at UCLA
Almost two years ago, on April 26th, 2024, I got accepted to the University of California, Los Angeles. I was flooded with excitement, and my family was filled with joy that I had gotten into such a prestigious university. But being from the Bay Area, the idea of moving more than 300 miles away from home felt like a massive stretch. I was a transfer student coming from De Anza College, and I genuinely thought the hardest part was already behind me. I couldn’t have predicted what these past two years would actually look like.
The Bay Area gave me comfort. But Los Angeles was a completely different world, one that pulled me far outside of everything familiar. Coming to UCLA meant stepping into an environment where everyone seems social, polished, and completely sure of themselves. It’s a campus full of driven, ambitious, and impressive people, and honestly, that was intimidating. I had real self-doubt about whether I would ever fit in.
As a transfer student, you arrive already behind the social curve. The freshman friendships, the dorm bonds built over two years before you even showed up, it felt like I had missed something I could never fully catch up on. So when I finally got to campus, my natural instinct was to just figure things out as I went and meet people along the way. I was pretty nonchalant at first because I genuinely didn’t know anyone. But once I got comfortable with someone, that changed fast. I open up more than most people expect. In fact, I asked the friends I’ve made here how they would describe me, and every single one of them said I was extroverted. It caught me off guard at first, but it also made me realize something. I was never really shy. I just needed to feel safe around people before I let them see the real version of me.
Living in De Neve Holly my first year helped more than I can explain. I met some of my closest friends there. You are surrounded by people who actually want to connect, and that energy made the transition feel a little less overwhelming. But Holly was not the only place connections were forming. My classes brought in a whole different wave of people, classmates who sat next to me during lectures, partners from group projects, and familiar faces that slowly became real friendships outside of the classroom. Study groups, floor hangs, random introductions through mutual friends. I met a lot of people quickly. For a while, I mistook access for closeness. Someone texting you to grab food before a midterm feels like friendship in the moment. But it is not the same as someone who shows up when things actually get hard. I had to learn that difference the slow, sometimes painful way.
Getting involved in clubs changed things for me in a way I did not expect. Joining ACM TeachLA introduced me to some awesome people who actually shared my goals and interests. There is something different about meeting someone in that kind of setting. You already have a common thread, a shared purpose, and that makes it a lot easier to build something real. Those connections felt less like networking and more like actually finding people who shared your passion. It reminded me that community does not just happen by proximity. Sometimes you have to go looking for it.
The filtering happened quietly. There was no big falling out or dramatic moment that made everything suddenly clear. It was small things, over time. Who reached out when I went quiet for a while. Who only texted when they needed something. Who genuinely celebrated good news, and who smiled with just a little too much effort. Some people I simply lost contact with, not out of any bad blood, just the natural drift that happens when two people stop putting in the same effort at the same time. Others I stopped talking to because of drama, unnecessary tension that never should have taken up as much space as it did. And honestly, I slowly realized that drama is a complete waste of time. The petty tensions, the misread texts, the unnecessary conflict, none of it ever led anywhere meaningful. It was just noise that distracted from the things and people that actually mattered. Letting those connections go was not always easy, but it was always the right call. Real friendship has a steadiness to it that does not depend on what you can offer someone at any given moment, and it certainly does not need drama to sustain itself.
Two years in, my social circle is smaller than I imagined it would be when I first arrived to campus. And that is honestly one of the best outcomes of this whole experience. I stopped measuring my social life by how many people I knew and started paying attention to how well I actually knew them. I also came to understand something that sounds simple but cuts deep: the people you choose to surround yourself with say a lot about your character. Not just who you are right now, but who you are becoming. If I am being honest with myself, UCLA has changed me for the better. It pushed me to grow in ways I could not have planned for, introduced me to people who genuinely inspired me, and showed me the kind of person I want to keep becoming.
Having a car in my final year changed things in a way I did not fully anticipate. It sounds simple, but having a car in Los Angeles unlocks a completely different kind of freedom. Suddenly you are not waiting on anyone or anything. You can just go, wherever you want, with whoever is down, at any hour. It opened up the city in a way that living on campus never quite did. When I was in the dorms, it felt like it I was locked to Westwood only. Knowing that Winter 2026 would be my last in-person quarter, I made a deliberate decision to dedicate it to having as much fun as possible. I was not going to let it slip by quietly. I wanted to say yes to new experiences, put myself in new adventures, and keep meeting new people even in the final stretch. I mainly tried to avoid saying no to get out of my comfort zone. The random texts to hang out, the spontaneous food runs, the matcha adventures that somehow became a whole thing, those were the moments that made that quarter feel full of fun. The late nights, the laughs, sit down restaurants with friends were exactly the moments that had nothing to do with school but everything to do with actually living, those are the things I will carry with me long after I leave this campus. I am grateful for every person I met along the way, and especially for the ones I grew genuinely close to. At this point, if I ever lose touch with the people who truly matter to me, that is on me. I know who they are, and keeping those relationships alive is a choice I intend to make. That last quarter felt like the right way to close this chapter.
UCLA taught me a great deal about my field, about this city, and about myself. But the most important lesson never showed up on any syllabus. It was learning how to tell the difference between someone who is genuinely in your life and someone who is just around. The people you keep close are a reflection of your values, your standards, and what you are willing to accept. I also came to realize something that nobody really prepares you for: after graduation, getting everyone together in the same place becomes rare. Life pulls people in different directions. Careers, cities, new chapters. The group hangs that felt so easy when everyone was within close distance of each other become something you have to intentionally plan for, and even then, schedules do not always line up. That realization made those final moments together feel even more worth holding onto. And here is the thing about UCLA that nobody tells you upfront: the university hands you the opportunity, but it is entirely up to you what you do with it. The resources, the people, the experiences, none of it means anything if you are not intentional about showing up for your own life. UCLA does not make you. You make yourself, here.
Can’t wait for graduation on June 14th at 2 PM!